dieters psalm

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want; He maketh me lie down & do push ups. He giveth me diet bread; He restoreth my waistline; He leadeth me past the refrigerator for mine own sake. He maketh me to partake of the green beans instead of the potatoes; He leadeth me past the pizza parlor. Yea, though I walk through the bakery, I shall not falter, for Thou art with me; Thy artificial sweeteners & diet colas, they comfort me. Thou preparest a diet for me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou annointest my salad with low-cal oil. My cup will not overflow. Surely 2% non-fat milk & yogurt l follow me all the days of my life, and I will live empty & hungry forever. -Author Unknown-